A Relief Society Lesson: List Scripture Heroes on the board—while I do these, think, what have you learned from this person and how can they be of help to you in your life?
ESTHER Courage
ABINADI Steadfast & Immovable
ALMA THE YOUNGER Change of Heart
JOSEPH OF EGYPT Flee from Temptation
MARTHA & MARY Trying to do their Best
SONS OF HELAMAN Obeyed with Exactness
When we were baptized we made a commitment and a covenant to God. We agreed to “stand as a witness of Jesus Christ at all times and in all things and in all places.” Many of us were only 8 when we made that covenant and probably didn’t really understand what we were getting ourselves into BUT as we grew in the gospel and we grew physically we better understood and we are here today because we all believe that, at least to some degree and we all want to do that.
Elder Robert D.Hales made this comment in last conference: You may not like what comes from the authority of the Church. It may contradict your [personal] views. It may contradict your social views. It may interfere with some of your social life. But if you listen to these things, as if from the mouth of the Lord Himself, with patience and faith, the promise is that ‘the gates of hell shall not prevail against you; … and the Lord God will disperse the powers of darkness from before you, and cause the heavens to shake for your good, and his name’s glory’ (D&C 21:6).”
Elder Boyd K. Packer said at this last conference: The Apostle Paul prophesied and warned that “in the last days perilous times shall come.
“For men shall be lovers of their own selves, covetous, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy,
“Without natural affection, trucebreakers, false accusers, incontinent, fierce, despisers of those that are good,
“Traitors, heady, highminded, lovers of pleasures more than lovers of God;
Paul also prophesied, “Evil men and seducers shall wax worse and worse, deceiving, and being deceived.”
These verses serve as a warning, showing which patterns to avoid. We must be ever watchful and diligent. We can review each of these prophecies and put a checkmark by them as being present and of concern in the world today:…… For many it may be quite disturbing, even discouraging. Nevertheless, when I think of the future, I am overwhelmed with feelings of positive optimism.
Elder Jeffrey R Holland: I want to say to my own granddaughter and the vast majority of the youth of the Church whom I meet around the world how extraordinarily proud we are of you. Moral and physical danger exists almost everywhere around you and temptations of a dozen kinds present themselves daily, yet most of you strive to do what is right.
With all that being said…I want to say, this is not a lesson about pornography but I’m going to ask you…how would you define Pornography?
True to the Faith: Pornography is any material depicting or describing the human body or sexual conduct in a way that arouses sexual feelings.
We all know that Pornography is something that we need to stay away from.
For Strength of Youth Pamphlet: Do not attend, view, or participate in anything that is vulgar, immoral, violent, or pornographic in any way. Do not participate in anything that presents immorality or violence as acceptable. Have the courage to walk out of a movie, change your music, or turn off a computer, television, or mobile device if what you see or hear drives away the Spirit.
In 2005, Elder Dallin H Oaks gave a talk on pornography: He made this analogy: “Pornographic or erotic stories and pictures are worse than filthy or polluted food. The body has defenses to rid itself of unwholesome food. With a few fatal exceptions, bad food will only make you sick but do no permanent harm. In contrast, a person who feasts upon filthy stories or pornographic or erotic pictures and literature records them in this marvelous retrieval system we call a brain. The brain won’t vomit back filth. Once recorded, it will always remain subject to recall, flashing its perverted images across your mind and drawing you away from the wholesome things in life.” 1
Pornographic images and thoughts are very difficult to erase from our minds.
Pornography destroys relationships.
Pornography impairs one’s ability to enjoy a normal emotional, romantic, and spiritual relationship with a person of the opposite sex. It erodes the moral barriers that stand against inappropriate, abnormal, or illegal behavior. As conscience is desensitized, patrons of pornography are led to act out what they have witnessed, regardless of its effects on their life and the lives of others.
Unfortunately I’m sure every one of us has known or knows someone who is or has had a problem with pornography. It is a ramped problem in the world we live in. None of us want to have this problem—we don’t want a husband or a boyfriend or a brother or sister or friend or father who has this problem—but if we haven’t yet, we probably will have someone close to us with this problem. BIG or SMALL—that’s how huge this is. When I was young—you had to put great effort to get pornography—you had to purchase it in a store. And I think I’m safe in saying it was mild to what you can see anywhere you are. It’s available at the click of a button. Generally it’s a man’s problem but not exclusively.
Pornography destroys—
Self-worth
Self-control
The Spirit
Relationships
What can we do to not have this problem?
1. Center your life around the Savior
2. Study your scriptures daily
3. Study the general conference talks: Elder Hales, “We gather to hear the words of the Lord, and we return to our homes to live them.” You can’t live them if you don’t remember them-study them so you can live them.
4. Live a chaste life—be virtuous
5. Keep the commandments
6. Regular Temple Attendance: Elder Oaks: “an endowed priesthood bearer’s fall into pornography never occurs during periods of regular worship in the temple; it happens when he has become casual in his temple worship” (letter of Mar. 13, 2005).
(we make sacred covenants in the temple, review those covenants, study them and learn about them and what they really mean—those not endowed: live worthy as if you had received your endowment—do baptisms for the dead)
7. Build Family Relationships: Elder Oaks: “build the spiritual strength of our families by loving relationships, family prayer, and scripture study.”
What can we do to help the Young Men we associate with every day?
1. Live a chaste life—be virtuous—For Strength of Youth Pamphlet: Physical intimacy between husband and wife is beautiful and sacred. It is ordained of God for the creation of children and for the expression of love between husband and wife. God has commanded that sexual intimacy be reserved for marriage.
When you are sexually pure, you prepare yourself to make and keep sacred covenants in the temple. You prepare yourself to build a strong marriage and to bring children into the world as part of an eternal and loving family. You protect yourself from the spiritual and emotional damage that come from sharing sexual intimacy outside of marriage. You also protect yourself from harmful diseases. Remaining sexually pure helps you to be confident and truly happy and improves your ability to make good decisions now and in the future.
The Lord’s standard regarding sexual purity is clear and unchanging. Do not have any sexual relations before marriage, and be completely faithful to your spouse after marriage. Do not allow the media, your peers, or others to persuade you that sexual intimacy before marriage is acceptable. It is not. In God’s sight, sexual sins are extremely serious. They defile the sacred power God has given us to create life. The prophet Alma taught that sexual sins are more serious than any other sins except murder or denying the Holy Ghost
Chastity in “True to the Faith”
If you are single and dating, always treat your date with respect. Never treat him or her as an object to be used for lustful desires. Carefully plan positive and constructive activities so that you and your date are not left alone without anything to do. Stay in areas of safety where you can easily control yourself. Do not participate in conversations or activities that arouse sexual feelings. Do not participate in passionate kissing, lie with or on top of another person, or touch the private, sacred parts of another person’s body, with or without clothing. Do not allow anyone to do such things with you.
2. Stay out of boys bedrooms & don’t allow boys in your bedroom…do not have sleepovers with boys even if “you’re just sleeping” . . . don’t cuddle under blankets. . . . Go home at appropriate times. . . be careful about where you are when you are alone together, (stay in public or in groups)
3. Dress modestly—at all times & in all things & in all places—even around the apartment—especially if there are boys visiting your roommates. For you to be attractive—your clothes don’t need to be provocative.
That goes with the types of pictures you post on facebook and instagram. I don’t believe that you should post any pictures of yourself in swimsuit attire, at least in a full figure pose—unless you have a cover-up on.
For Strength of Youth Pamphlet: Immodest clothing is any clothing that is tight, sheer, or revealing in any other manner. Young women should avoid short shorts and short skirts, shirts that do not cover the stomach, and clothing that does not cover the shoulders or is low-cut in the front or the back. Young men should also maintain modesty in their appearance. Young men and young women should be neat and clean and avoid being extreme or inappropriately casual in clothing, hairstyle, and behavior. They should choose appropriately modest apparel when participating in sports. The fashions of the world will change, but the Lord’s standards will not change.
Elder Russell M.Ballard: understand that when ‘you’ wear clothing that is too tight, too short, or too low cut, ‘you’ not only can send the wrong message to young men with whom ‘you’ associate, but ‘you’ also perpetuate in their own minds the fallacy that a woman’s value is dependent solely upon her sensual appeal. This never has been nor will it ever be within the righteous definition of a faithful daughter of God
For you to fully claim Heavenly Father’s blessings and protection, we ask you to stay true to the standards of the gospel of Jesus Christ and not slavishly follow the whims of fads and fashions. The Church will never deny your moral agency regarding what you should wear and exactly how you should look. But the Church will always declare standards and will always teach principles…. In the gospel of Jesus Christ, modesty in appearance is always in fashion. Our standards are not socially negotiable.
Young women, choose your clothing the way you would choose your friends—in both cases choose that which improves you and would give you confidence standing in the presence of God. 7 Good friends would never embarrass you, demean you, or exploit you. Neither should your clothing.
Elder Oaks: young women, please understand that if you dress immodestly, you are magnifying this problem by becoming pornography to some of the men who see you.
“Your clothing expresses who you are. It sends messages about you, and it influences the way you and others act. When you are well groomed and modestly dressed, you can invite the companionship of the Spirit and exercise a good influence on those around you” (True to the Faith, 107).
“Prophets have always counseled us to dress modestly. This counsel is founded on the truth that the human body is God’s sacred creation. Respect your body as a gift from God. Through your dress and appearance, you can show the Lord that you know how precious your body is. . . .
“Maintain high standards of modesty for all occasions. Do not lower your standards to draw attention to your body or to seek approval from others. True disciples of Jesus Christ maintain the Lord’s standard regardless of current fashions or pressure from others” (True to the Faith, 107).
4. Have frank and open conversations about pornography. (probably not on the first date)
Be careful of the young men you date—if they are not willing to take care of a pornography problem, then get out. Be like Joseph of old and flee. Pornography damages the heart and soul to their very depths. If they are working to overcome a problem, then remember that the atonement can change a heart. The atonement can heal so you should give them a chance.
Who wants a boyfriend with a pornography problem? NO ONE—NEVER
Girls—the boys don’t want a girl friend who is not modest and does not have moral high standards. They don’t want a girl friend that’s going to allow their sexual drive get out of control. BOYS Sex Drives are WAY DIFFERENT THAN GIRLS!! BE CAREFUL!! And if the boys want you to be intimate with them, then you don’t want them because they don’t have respect for you and who you are. They don’t have respect for God and his commandments. The world teaches us that sexuality is freedom to have sexual relations with everyone and anyone. That it’s fun and that it’s good. But we know differently—recently read a blog about sexuality—why would you want to give the most priceless thing that you have to just anyone. Why would you not want to save that part of you for that ONE person you want to spend eternity with? Why would you want to give a peep show to someone who has no respect for you or your body? BE MODEST!!
Modesty is about sexuality.
I love you! This lesson today is because I love you. You are amazing young women who have great futures and testimonies and strength. I am constantly amazed at how awesome you are.
I want to offer a challenge to you:
When you pull something out of your closet to wear, evaluate it. Look at yourself in the mirror when you put it on.
Is it too low? Too short? Too tight?
· If you haven’t received your endowment yet, could you wear what you have on with temple garments?
· If you have temple garments, do you have to tuck your garments so they don’t show?
Is it too low? Too short? Too tight? If it is then have the COURAGE to modify or throw it out. Even if you love it to pieces. With today’s fashions, you could easily put something underneath if it’s too low, If it’s too short, you might be able to put on a pair of leggings. Too tight??? I’m not sure there’s much hope for modification on that one.
When you go to buy something new, ask yourself the same questions.
Is it too low? Too short? Too tight?
If it is, don’t buy it. Even if it’s the cutest thing you’ve ever seen and you REALLY REALLY want it!!
WRAP IT UP:
Courage to do what is right when you are buying clothing
Courage to talk to roommates when you see a problem
Courage to say no to a young man
Courage to FLEE when and if necessary
Be Steadfast and Immovable—do all that is asked of you—Be beautiful daughters of God
Change of Heart if necessary—pray for understanding
Do your Best
Obey with exactness so that when others talk about you they say:
And they were all young women, and they were exceedingly valiant for courage, and also for strength and activity; but behold, this was not all—they were women who were true at all times in whatsoever thing they were entrusted.
21 Yea, they were women of truth and soberness, for they had been taught to keep the commandments of God and to walk uprightly before him.
I said this was not a lesson about pornography. This is a lesson about YOU young single women. A lesson to help us all be pure and clean and virtuous. It is a lesson about how we can help the young single men that we associate with to be worthy priesthood holders...to be pure and clean and virtuous. Heavenly Father loves us and wants us to return to Him. He gave us Jesus Christ who gave us the atonement. The atonement can help us be clean and pure and virtuous!
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